Sometimes there is so much going on and so many things I’m feeling that I just shut down. I can’t express myself, I tunnel inward, putting a protective shell around myself. I remind myself to remain vulnerable, but just *feeling* so much takes my breath away, leaves me gasping for a sense of calm, of order, of peace and predictability.
And I want to write about it, say, “Here, this is the reason I haven’t been writing here,” but every time I start to write that story, I get tired. I’m tired of talking about it, it makes me frustrated and scared and sad. I know this is vague, and I hope you’ll bear with me. I guess I am reminding myself and anyone reading this that there is often so much more going on behind the scenes of the blog than we ever realize. Of course there is.
I’m focusing on gratitude today, as a counterbalance to some of the heavy that’s infused my life lately.
I’m feeling so grateful for:
1. Seeing my oldest, Silas, perform in his first Bollywood dance last night. His class was invited to perform at a Diwali festival, and it was such a blast to see those kids get up on stage and shake it. I laugh-cried. He is brave, and knows how to have a good time.
2. I’m so very grateful for the one most impressively elegant and gifted Hannah Marcotti, and all the amazing work that she does. Her programs never fail to inspire my heart and guide me to a deeper sense of understanding myself and how I want to live in this world. Spirits of Joy was amazing last month, and though my life got a little derailed in the middle and I haven’t been able to complete all the prompts yet, I know they’re there waiting for me. I’m currently loving her Community Grace program – it is *amazing* to feel surrounded by such inspiring women doing so much good in the world. And you better believe I’m looking forward to next month’s Holiday Joy Up! Join us, it’s going to be magical!
3. The tribe of women Hannah has gathered in the Joy Up Alumni tribe on Facebook recently lent me so much love and support through a truly emotional upheaval, and I’m so grateful that I could go there for that love. Much love to all the Joy Sisters!
4. Have I mentioned how much I love Gwynn Raimondi? My life in Seattle got about 1000x more awesome when we became such close friends. She is wicked smart and is not afraid to tell it like it is. And she has a kick-ass blog that you should check out. I love you, Gwynn! <;3
5. I am sooooo loving my online cooking course, Whole Food Kitchen, by Heather Bruggerman. I amost almost almost didn’t do it because I feel pretty confident in the kitchen, but when a friend (hi Teri!) was looking for a buddy to do it with, it was just the push I needed to sign up. And I’m SO glad I did! Heather has such a wonderful, gentle way of imparting what can be a lot of controversial and conflicting opinions about a topic near and dear to my heart – FOOD! I love her approach, her awesome cooking videos, amazing recipes (some new family favorites!), and the comprehensiveness of the course. I get giddy every Monday afternoon when the next module opens! She offers this once or twice a year, so be on the lookout for the next round and be sure to sign up! You won’t be disappointed.
6. Did you know that Silas and I have the same Bollywood instructor? It’s true! Katrina teaches at our local homeschool program that we attend on Fridays. She is so down to earth and welcoming – my class is about is two teenage girls and about 7 moms with little to no dance experience – and she makes us all feel welcome and like it’s just an everyday thing for us to be doing this. And I LOVE it. It is so fun, it uses a part of my brain that never gets exercised and it’s good physical exercise! When my class ran through our whole number without her leading us a few weeks ago, I got such a high from getting through the whole routine! What a joy. I might have to start attending her other classes at her studio, Skin Deep Dance, to get some more dance time in. After the holiday craziness though. 🙂
7. I’m so grateful that my husband and I spent the better part of today puttering around the kitchen being radical homemakers together. He juiced our apples that were getting waxy to ferment into hard cider and then started the pulp fermenting into fruit scrap vinegar! I rocked two loaves of honey-wheat bread, 2 sheet pans of granola, roasted two pie pumpkins and their seeds and made a batch of honey-miso baked tofu for the week. Hooray for camaraderie in the kitchen! Feeling very blessed.
Ok, I could go on, but 7 is my favorite, so I think I’ll cap it for tonight. I hope to do another few gratitude posts this month. 🙂
What are you feeling grateful for? Please share with me in the comments!