I’m not a terribly visual person – I much prefer the precision of the written word that I can tweak in just the right way to convey my message. But this month is all about creating a vision book, an actual artifact of our journey. I’ve never really taken to vision boards – I’ve tried it once or twice and have found it frustrating to my perfectionism (ah…maybe that’s part of the point, no?) But I’m doing this vision book anyway, and the daily-ness of it is making me care less about being perfect – because if I wait until I can make it perfect, I will never get it done and it will all pile on top of me and I’ll give up in sadness in frustration.
This could still happen.
But so far, it hasn’t. Because I’m doing the daily prompts like they are stream of consciousness writing (which I love but also terrifies me). I’m getting it done “good enough” style – and then, magically, it’s done. Sure, the paper is a little ripply from the glue being too wet and I didn’t find that exact shade of purple I wanted. But holy shit – I made something. It didn’t kill me.
And also – I’m learning things as I go. What kind of glue works better, how much I love this book of background paper that I picked up at Jo-Ann’s a year ago, how much I love the box of random paper remnants that I bought from Discount School Supply last year. How I really need to buy some non-food related magazines, so that I have a selection of slightly more diverse images and copy to choose from.
Something else I’ve never really taken to: affirmations. They feel weird and phony and a little Stewart Smalley. But – I’ve been bombarded lately from about 4 people that I look up to about doing them, so you know, I thought it might be worth a shot. (In case you’re wondering, those four people are Tara Wagner, Hannah Marcotti, Jenn Gibson and Brene Brown).
I’ve been reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (it’s SO GOOD) and she quotes Lynne Twist about scarcity, which I found so illuminating for me:
For me, and for many of us, our first waking though of the day is “I didn’t get enough sleep.” The next one is “I don’t have enough time.” Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining or worrying about what we don’t have enough of…Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. (from The Soul of Money, 43-45)
Whoa. That is so me, so much of the time.
And something else I found fascinating from this chapter on scarcity – Brene Brown argues that the opposite of scarcity is NOT abundance, but rather, it’s what she calls Wholeheartedness, which is centered around,
…vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough (p. 29, emphasis mine).
I just love this idea so much – Wholeheartedness. The willingness to be seen. Here I am: here is what I’ve made.
Here is my morning affirmation.